How to live through the lense of a Kenyan woman.

Last week on Sunday, we lit a candle of hope to mark the beginning of advent season in the Catholic church calendar. The homily was beautiful unlike I had anticipated. I had walked into church feeling a bit tired and thought I’d fight sleep during mass but far from it, I enjoyed every moment.

This whole week indeed has been about hope for me and the truth is I sometimes think that my understanding of what hope is may be wrong. But then again, I saw a video of a Buddhist guru just on the same Sunday as I had attended mass, of him talking about letting go of everything. He challenged the audience he was addressing to try and accept all as is for only 24 hours. I decided to try this for as long as I could hold. This is not an easy thing to do as you can imagine. Especially when there are expectations held out to you or coming from you. Still, I did my best.

Hope now, in my humble opinion is, expecting good and not desiring it. Yes, this does not seem very obvious but simply put, hope is faith and peace. No fear or worry about what the future holds but belief in a good future nonetheless.
I am currently writing this after having accomplished something remarkable in my books. I have finished reading a book by Wangari Maathai titled Unbowed.

Unbowed by Prof. Wangari Maathai

Many of those who know me, know that I do read but not quite often, so I am mighty proud of myself as you can fathom. The book has opened my mind to something in relation to what I intend to write about. It has taught me that we are all one race and we can work together regardless of our differences, but mostly that with hope, we can be persistent, brave and alive. Yes, alive. The late professor from my assessment, was a very well rounded person who never lost any part of herself in her journey of self definition. She was more present in whatever she did than aware of whatever she did. When there is an issue that needs solving, often times, we look at the whole solution required as something complex and impossible but then all it needs doing is starting somewhere. A biologist, with no training in forestry saw need for environmental saving and started a tree nursery. The beginning proved a challenge and she failed indeed but because she remained hopeful that she could do something, she persisted on with her idea.

Throughout her entire journey of struggle and triumph, she never once imagined of the reward rather than the result. The result of a better leadership and quality of livelihood for the people she sought to serve.
The current realities of today are grim and scary but the call to life is service to others through our talents and gifts. If we only live to amass wealth and live lavishly without care for others be they many or few, we forget to place value in our lives and remember to put a price tag instead.

I believe that we can all contribute to making the earth a little bit better a place for someone else to live in. We are all important for this cause.
Every single human being is needed for this change. We can end all the ills that grip us if only we see ourselves as equally of value and take accountability and responsibility for our actions and intentions. A world of a team. A team of the human race. Before then however, Wangari says Hope!

Shame

Shame. A word used derogatorily to imply embarrassing or distasteful in act. We all have it. We have it for our weaknesses, our shortfalls, our uniqueness, our nature and anything that makes us stand out. 

Many times when we experience aggression of any kind, we immediately, almost instinctively, become defensive. The finger pointed at us is the finger that is with judgment. The other is the enemy and we the victims. In such moments, rarely do we find reason in argument. We raise our voices and quickly speak even when unprepared for debate. The argument or disagreement immediately looses meaning and turns to a fight. 

Commonly, people say every relationship has to have fights. Fights to them mean disagreement. To some, fights can be violent or even offensive. This is allowed apparently. It is permitted that couples or siblings or coworkers can offend each other for "character development" in the name of disagreement. 

I have been an alien many times in the spaces I've taken and this is something I have grown accustomed to. The reason I've been different is because I am mostly a dreamer. I live very much in a world unknown or unseen. A world of idealism. I believe that conflict is unnecessary and kindness is paramount but the reality is contrary and this gets me into many debates most of the time. The reason I digress to speak on my separation is because I do not believe in negative methods of dealing with things or people. This is not as the real world is and for this reason I falter in opinion against many others who may or may not be my peers. 

For example, we all are aware that there's climate change going on and some may or may not know what this means for the world we live in. However, most people especially here in Africa where I reside, are oblivious or indifferent to the crisis at hand. The reason being, nothing can be perfect. To them, as long as they have a shelter over their heads, food on the table and clothes on their backs, they are well. I know for a fact that on my own, I cannot change a whole planet in how things are done but what measure can I take that can transform it? By looking in the mirror. 

Taking responsibility for my actions is the first and most important step and this applies to anything. When you, my dear reader, are in contention with anyone, the first and most important step to take is to look in the mirror, this of course is metaphorically speaking. Pointing fingers doesn't really bring solution to any pickle. 

The basic level of humanity is relationship. The reason for any conflict stems from some form of shame. And shame is a fear of exposure of reality or a fear of vulnerability. The shame that we all bare is what makes simple disagreement, aggressive. It is the shame that the truth has been spoken or exposed. The best way to fight shame is to face it. Stare at it long enough and it then becomes a normality and not an abnormality. 

Also am a pacifist. What do I know? Live your life and Carpe diem!